Late Night Lady Letter
Dear friend that I’ve had for less than three weeks,
I’m not ready for you to have this letter in real life, sooo tumblr it is. :) Maybe someday, you’ll get to see this one too. Lord knows you’ve already seen the rest of the novels I write on here… not something I typically broadcast for all (or any) of my friends to see, but there’s something different about you.
Thank goodness, you’re not like the others. I can’t put my finger on it, but it’s a good kind of different. I’ve been vulnerable with other friends before, long after gaining their trust and slowly building those relationships, but it’s not like that with you. You knew my life story the second we sat down at Starbucks for the first time and you made fun of my pink coffee. Little did I know at that time about your sliiiiight coffee addiction. ;) But from that first time, I was completely comfortable telling you my story, and you confided in me too. Something about us just clicks, and I don’t understand how that happened so fast.
I’m okay with not understanding. I honestly don’t understand where the heck you came from. I’ve never met anyone like you, and I truly wasn’t looking for anything or anyone in particular when you showed up. We were in college for an entire year together, and all of a sudden you fell into my life during frigging finals week. Better late than never, eh? :) The timing, though, is definitely all of God’s doing. I honestly wasn’t in a good place until a month or so before we started hanging out… and if I would’ve been a hot mess then, maybe we wouldn’t have clicked so quickly - or at all. God is still healing me, but He had to get me to a certain point before He made us cross paths. He sure is a weasel sometimes… a good weasel, but still.
You are absolutely beautiful, and I mean that in every sense of the word. Your smile is contagious and as dumb as it sounds I really just love smiling with you. And that beauty - I think it’s so striking because it doesn’t stop at skin deep. You have such a beautiful heart. I see how selflessly you put others first and serve as God calls us to, and it makes me try to be a less self-centered person in my relationships as well. You love the big man a whole lot, which I admire. But what makes you the most beautiful is that you’re not perfect; you’re broken, just like I am. You don’t let yourself become trapped in that brokenness, though. I see you actively seeking God and His will for your life, even when it sucks and you’re not down with His timing. He is going to do so many amazing things in your life because of the ways that you let Him radiate His strength, peace, and love through you.
Last night was a really, really great night for me. I just love spending time with you. It also helps that you know all the best spots in the burgh… even if the overlook did give me some crazy bug bites. :P I’m happy that I ended up being stranded and having to sleep over last night. For the last couple of weeks up until it was time to go to bed, I thought I liked you but I wasn’t sure. THAT sure did hit me whenever we were talking in your bed, kinda sorta barely touching, and it just became entirely too overwhelming for me to stop myself from cuddling into you. Talk about some self control… seriously. I was gonna do my hardest to not do that, but I think we both knew that when I gave my “cuddling disclaimer” spiel as the lights went out - and you said that would be totally okay - that it might actually happen.
I didn’t wanna get my hopes up; I’m still guarding myself a little bit because of the situation with your ex. That scares me, because I don’t want a repeat of what happened to me in my last relationship. I’m all about love but I’m now also all about not getting hurt. With that being said, you have no idea how happy I was when you grabbed my arm last night, pulled it over top of you, and then held me. It was hot as hell in your room last night, but we spooned like champs regardless. Part of me was afraid when your alarm went off this morning that you’d act super weird and say the cuddle sesh was a huge mistake, but you hit the snooze and immediately wrapped yourself around me again. The only thing that made me happier than that was seeing how freaking high you jumped when the alarm went off again - hahaha literally the hardest I’ve laughed in a good while.
I’m also happy that we talked last night over today, since I’m always someone that needs clarification. I’m happy that you said last night wasn’t going to be a one time thing. And I’m happy that you said you don’t want to rush into anything too quickly. I’m alllll about just being friends and seeing what happens gradually down the road. My last relationship was spent entirely in the fast lane, and I don’t like who I was during that time. You deserve better than the person I used to be… You deserve SO much more than that. So I’m going to intentionally pace myself to be slow as frigging molasses in order to ensure that things don’t go too fast or result in us accidentally skipping over the best parts in the rush.
I think you are absolutely and completely wonderful. I appreciate you so much and can’t wait to see what our friendship holds in the future. Thank you more than you will ever know.